Soren Bowie: Your Eighth Grade Boyfriend

And probably the best thing that ever happened to you

Hey Staff Sergeant/doctor/dad/rapper, you don’t get to be everything, leave some for the rest of us.

I like to think it’s not a coincidence that our Webby nomination mirrors the Ride Along home page skin because it means someone is intentionally equating me to Ice Cube. 

Who should win a Webby for Online Film & Video / Best Writing? Vote now.

Hey, Cracked After Hours is up for a Webby for Best Writing. Please help us win by voting!

cracked:

Cracked After Hours fan art based on the Whedonverse episode, by Humon (hat tip hammerspaced).

This is fantastic.

cracked:

Cracked After Hours fan art based on the Whedonverse episode, by Humon (hat tip hammerspaced).

This is fantastic.

I’ve always said, I won’t watch a Hercules movie until someone who truly understands and loves the ancient mythos is behind the project. Thank the gods Brett Ratner hasn’t choked to death on a meatball dusted with cocaine yet.

popculturebrain:

First Look: ‘Community' goes 'GI Joe' | EW

That’s weird, I don’t remember being on community, but that’s definitely my gun.

How The Dumbest Plagiarist In The World Tried To Blackmail Me (And Failed Hilariously)

srmxy:

So, last week I made a post about Alex Noudelman, a “Top 10” websites mogul who likes stealing articles from other sites, then accusing the original authors of plagiarism. He can get away with this because some sites, like Cracked, have forums where the writers develop the ideas for months and months before the sites buy them, so Noudelman just goes in there, scoops up the unfinished articles, and posts them before Cracked can. You can look at all the evidence in the post I linked to above. Other highlights of his career include filing copyright complaints against the same sites he steals from, harassing the original writers and possibly posing as a cancer survivor on Twitter (I’ll get back to this one later).

Yesterday, Alex Noudelman finally spoke up through his Twitter account. His explanation for all the theft? It was me! The guy writing this Tumblr post! Apparently, I stole all those articles, sent them to him to publish them under false pretenses… and then wrote a lengthy post exposing my own crimes, for some reason. Here’s his evidence:

image

Because, you know, teenagers haven’t been faking emails using a combination of “emailing yourself” and “MS Paint” since the dawn of time. (Note that he has my IP address because I left him a nice message asking for the stolen articles to be removed before this whole thing started.) Anyway, I told him that I would confirm the email was real if he confirmed that this conversation between us took place:

image

But wait, that was just the beginning!

Read More

Dear Plagiarists, Cracked writers prove every day that they are borderline obsessive about topics that interest them and they are dangerously funny. I can’t think of a worse place to steal content from because they will come after you, forever. 

thisdanobrien:

I super love this gif.

Instruments go like this!

thisdanobrien:

I super love this gif.

Instruments go like this!

Notes from My Pants: Chapter 3

I write a lot of notes throughout any given day on receipts, napkins, sticky pads for things I don’t want to forget, then I stuff them in my pockets and promptly forget about them, usually for months. When I find those wadded up pieces of paper again, the original idea has long since moved out of my brain and instead it feel like my pants are sending me cryptic notes. I have no idea what they want from me:

British actor, horse, were you in this week?, Dream.

What the Heart Wants                gas station nachos

Europe: Peanut butter old people

Bounce when shit gets hot

Get to work on Considering 

Stripping all the fun of making a video, forcing an author to picture the two of you meekly slapping your bodies together.

"Because, Kevin, no one else has boots or gloves."

(Source: copyranter.blogspot.com, via thefrogman)