I think every single story idea I’ve ever had has been born in the shower. There’s just something about being naked and wet that activates the story-telling part of the brain. I think because it’s the same part that would have to come up with reasonable excuses if you were caught naked and wet anywhere but the shower.
Yes, right. That’s exactly why my brain is so creative in the shower too.
redrum-is-fun asked: So, I just read the etsy thing you posted, it was quite interesting ha. And I'm curious, what was in the box you ordered?
Anonymous asked: Will you please tell me a scary story?
Once there was this guy and he had this wife and every time she said, “I love you” he would say… “Ditto.”
So this guy got shot during a robbery and his wife was inconsolable and she kept going back to the pottery wheel they used to use together and occasionally fuck on, and she tried to feel his ghost there with her, making a tea kettle or whatever but it just never felt quite right.
Finally she met this psychic lady with no eyebrows name Whoopi who claimed that she could see the wife’s dead lover. She agreed to let him inhabit her body for half an hour so that the couple could fuck on their pottery wheel one more time. But it turned out that the psychic was a hustler who just wanted to have sex with the heartbroken lady. And that’s why you can never trust a psychic.
Anonymous asked: In Jedi Academy did you have syllables you were supposed to say or did you just say whatever gibberish you wanted
I made up a very specific sounding language so it would be consistent throughout the episodes but, no, none of it actually means anything. Don’t bother hunting for patterns.
Anonymous asked: shelby fero the hiphop expert. pshhhh please! i remember when you tweeted how smart the song 99 problems by jay z was like a year ago. oh d'uh! but it's great. we're all watching shelby discovering the world and then pretending to have known it all along. u a wannabe nigga now too, eh?
Oh yeah this kind of bullshit is why I stopped using tumblr. Think this is a good cue for another break
Don’t make the mistake of lending more weight to the occasional asshole than all the other, nicer folks. It’s hard to avoid, I know, I do it all the time — there’s some stupid mis-wiring in the human brain that makes us pay close attention to the one shrieking shirtless jerk while ignoring the crowd of awesome humanity all around him.
And thus ends my folksy lecture. Apologies all around. Pocket squares and homemade pie will be issued as compensation.
Everyone should always listen to Brockway. Between his vomit and vitriol are nuggets of eloquence.