Soren Bowie: Your Eighth Grade Boyfriend

And probably the best thing that ever happened to you

judo-chop asked: Mr. Alex Schmidt... Great gif maker of cracked... please, can I get a gif of Josie Noonan yelling "LEBRON!!!"

thisdanobrien:

cracked:

Calling me out by name, huh? Of course judo-chop, of course:

FYI it happens in Episode #2 of Rom.Com.

In our old office, Soren and I used to try to throw empty drink bottles into the same, hard to reach recycling can (regularly disturbing Breandan, who sat by the can). We obviously would shout the name of whatever basketball player we hoped to be channeling (I yelled LeBron, then Pippen, then all of the players from Space Jam including Nawt, the Monstar, and occasionally Vladamir Stepania who was the worst ranked basketball player in the NBA when I was in middle school) .

We immortalized it in the show, Alex made it a gif and Largetown made it a hundred times better by doing that dumb fucking run that NO ONE TOLD HER TO DO.

I would yell Stockton and Mullin a lot because I was realistic about my talent ceiling, even in a fantasy scenario.

codyjohnston:

fuckyounofuckme:

The only Let It Go thing I’ll post, promise.

Kid posts terrible mistake on Internet.

It’s weird that there aren’t already a bunch of people complaining that he didn’t shoot this in landscape.

jetpackexhaust:

thisdanobrien:

hereinidaho:

cracked:

kathythewriter:

codyjohnston:

Maggie remembers the war.

This calls for a #DogsOfCracked cute-off. Briscoe says take this:


And Christina H’s pooch Frobolome enters the rumble…


This is Stormageddon “Craig” Harrison, and he likes to party. 


All you motherfuckers brought “sweet” to a Cute Fight.

That was taken after a trip to the dog park, which we take EVERY SINGLE MORNING, even when I’m hungover, which is LOTS. He plays with his dog-friends and if no one else is there, we do WIND SPRINTS to keep us both SHARP. I am Dog Mom Supreme.


Neutrino wonders at the disproportionate number of non-cats among Cracked writers’ pets. I mean we’re meant to be working on the internet.

This is my plant. I don’t know what kind it is. It gets too much sun, or not enough or something. Anyway, it’s dying, but in a cute way.

jetpackexhaust:

thisdanobrien:

hereinidaho:

cracked:

kathythewriter:

codyjohnston:

Maggie remembers the war.

This calls for a #DogsOfCracked cute-off. Briscoe says take this:

And Christina H’s pooch Frobolome enters the rumble…

This is Stormageddon “Craig” Harrison, and he likes to party. 

image

All you motherfuckers brought “sweet” to a Cute Fight.

That was taken after a trip to the dog park, which we take EVERY SINGLE MORNING, even when I’m hungover, which is LOTS. He plays with his dog-friends and if no one else is there, we do WIND SPRINTS to keep us both SHARP. I am Dog Mom Supreme.

Neutrino wonders at the disproportionate number of non-cats among Cracked writers’ pets. I mean we’re meant to be working on the internet.

This is my plant. I don’t know what kind it is. It gets too much sun, or not enough or something. Anyway, it’s dying, but in a cute way.

Hey Staff Sergeant/doctor/dad/rapper, you don’t get to be everything, leave some for the rest of us.

I like to think it’s not a coincidence that our Webby nomination mirrors the Ride Along home page skin because it means someone is intentionally equating me to Ice Cube. 

Who should win a Webby for Online Film & Video / Best Writing? Vote now.

Hey, Cracked After Hours is up for a Webby for Best Writing. Please help us win by voting!

cracked:

Cracked After Hours fan art based on the Whedonverse episode, by Humon (hat tip hammerspaced).

This is fantastic.

cracked:

Cracked After Hours fan art based on the Whedonverse episode, by Humon (hat tip hammerspaced).

This is fantastic.

I’ve always said, I won’t watch a Hercules movie until someone who truly understands and loves the ancient mythos is behind the project. Thank the gods Brett Ratner hasn’t choked to death on a meatball dusted with cocaine yet.

popculturebrain:

First Look: ‘Community' goes 'GI Joe' | EW

That’s weird, I don’t remember being on community, but that’s definitely my gun.

How The Dumbest Plagiarist In The World Tried To Blackmail Me (And Failed Hilariously)

srmxy:

So, last week I made a post about Alex Noudelman, a “Top 10” websites mogul who likes stealing articles from other sites, then accusing the original authors of plagiarism. He can get away with this because some sites, like Cracked, have forums where the writers develop the ideas for months and months before the sites buy them, so Noudelman just goes in there, scoops up the unfinished articles, and posts them before Cracked can. You can look at all the evidence in the post I linked to above. Other highlights of his career include filing copyright complaints against the same sites he steals from, harassing the original writers and possibly posing as a cancer survivor on Twitter (I’ll get back to this one later).

Yesterday, Alex Noudelman finally spoke up through his Twitter account. His explanation for all the theft? It was me! The guy writing this Tumblr post! Apparently, I stole all those articles, sent them to him to publish them under false pretenses… and then wrote a lengthy post exposing my own crimes, for some reason. Here’s his evidence:

image

Because, you know, teenagers haven’t been faking emails using a combination of “emailing yourself” and “MS Paint” since the dawn of time. (Note that he has my IP address because I left him a nice message asking for the stolen articles to be removed before this whole thing started.) Anyway, I told him that I would confirm the email was real if he confirmed that this conversation between us took place:

image

But wait, that was just the beginning!

Read More

Dear Plagiarists, Cracked writers prove every day that they are borderline obsessive about topics that interest them and they are dangerously funny. I can’t think of a worse place to steal content from because they will come after you, forever.