So about a week ago, I messaged thisdanobrien (My favorite internet columnist/Author/Current semi famous crush) about how attractive I find him and how awesomely talented he is, and also about his interest in American History. He hasn’t message me back yet and I’ve been having a panic attack for 5 days. Just….stewing in my own anxiety. Fun fact for the day!

(via kee89)

Dear Dan, this woman really wants you to respond to her. She even messaged me today to tell me I’m alright but I’m no Daniel O’Brien. Thanks for that, by the way, lady.

digitalmirth asked
If you're really my eight grade boyfriend, then name 5 of Fall Out Boy's songs. I need proof.

You already know I don’t remember the actual names, just what track they are on that mix CD you made me, girl.

Anonymous asked
Are you the real Soren? if so, marry me please!

What’s your college loan situation?

Apparently the Library of Congress is full so they’ve asked me to keep this one in a safe place.

sarizard asked
did you go see late night with seth meyers during fleet week? i was watching an episode and the camera panned to the audience. there was a dude who looked just like you. if it wasn't you, you have a (probably evil) twin.

I did. I met a marine while standing in line named John Tucker and he was a fan of Cracked so I sat with him, and also, it turned out, everyone else from the military. So it was a whole row of military personel, and me.

cptkammyjay asked
Some of my favorite moments in Cracked videos are when the people in them "lose their cool," so to speak, so I just wanted to say that your bit about crawling into a bathtub holding a toaster was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Is Open Breakup Letters gonna be a regular show?

Yes! It’s going to be ongoing as long as things exist in the world we hate. I imagine everyone in Cracked will do one of these eventually. Thanks for the kind words.

-Soren

judo-chop asked
You sir, are a robot.

You’re going to want to be really careful with the accusations you throw around about who may or may not be a robot. Robots hate that sort of thing.

I’ve heard.

Anonymous asked
This is an official petition for you to start a show with that craft lady. She could send you a box of assorted animal parts and you could craft something out of it and sell it for millions.

If my job was to build a new creature out of animal parts every week, I would finally have the career I always wanted as a child.

cracked:

If you can get through this next video without shedding a tear, then you are made of stone.

A Breakup Letter to Upworthy

This GIF conveniently leaves out the part where I swear directly into camera.

This may turn out to be the most important thing I’ve ever written. Only history knows.

This may turn out to be the most important thing I’ve ever written. Only history knows.